How to deal with pregnancy jealousy
If you clicked to ready this article you’re probably dealing with pregnancy jealousy right now.
Its such a hard emotion to experience. It’s like as soon as you start trying to conceive suddenly you see babies everywhere. You see them at the grocery store, the cars you drive past all have that baby on board sign, you see pregnancy announcements on facebook and instagram. Part of it is that you’re more aware now. Years ago you wouldn’t have paid much attention to these things but now it feels like a personal attack every time you see something.
Feeling jealous is completely normal
First, I want you to know it’s completely normal to feel this way. Of course you experience jealousy when you see other women with babies. It’s natural. It’s a sign of how deeply you want to become a mother and how much love you have to give. Feeling jealous, feeling like it’s not fair, and feeling angry at other women is a normal experience when you’re trying to conceive. It doesn't make you a bad person or a bad friend for feeling this way.
But it’s very uncomfortable, it can feel like salt in the wound so I want so share with you some tips for overcoming pregnancy jealousy so that you can feel better during this journey.
Tip #1: Speak kindly to yourself
The first thing to do is listen to how you speak to yourself when you’re in these moments. Listen to the words you tell yourself. Most likely, these are things you would never say to another human. It’s just your brain being on autopilot and bringing up all of your fears and frustrations.
Don’t let that kind of thinking continue. If you wouldn't say it out loud to your best friend don’t say it to yourself. Imagine you’re talking to your best friend. They’re going through something really hard right now. They’re emotions are tender and raw. What would you say to them?
You certainly would NOT start telling them “that’s supposed to be you, why haven’t you had kids yet, geesh your body is so messed up you’ll probably never have kids.” You would never ever in a million years say that to another person, yet that’s what we tell ourselves!
You would tell her, “I know you’re going through something really hard right now. I know this is tough. This has a been a long journey and you’re doing so well holding it together. I know you have so much love to give and when you do become a mother you’re going to be amazing. Is there anything you need right now?”
And answer that question for yourself. You might need to reach out to someone to talk, you might need to go home and hug your spouse, you might need to turn down an invitation to a friend’s baby shower. It’s all ok. Speaking to yourself in this way and honoring how you feel and asking yourself what support you need is the highest form of self care.
Tip #2: See other people’s pregnancies as evidence for your own
Next, See this as a good sign. I like to look at other people's pregnancies as evidence that humans can have babies. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in researching infertility that we can forget that humans have been having babies for millions of years. Our bodies know what to do. Now when I see someone at the grocery store with a new baby, instead of beating myself up about it, I think hey that human had a baby. I’m a human. I bet I could have a baby. It’s simple logic and your brain likes logic.
Tip #3: Reassure yourself you’re doing everything you can
The next step is to reassure yourself that you’re doing everything you can. Remind yourself of all the things you’re doing to support your fertility so that you can have a baby. You’re eating better, you’re eating clean, organic whole foods, you’re already feeling more energy and losing weight. You’re doing yoga and going for walks, you can feel your body building stamina and strength. You’re working with me to find nutrient deficiencies and balance your hormones, you’re doing yoni steams, you’re tracking your fertile signs and monitoring your progress by charting your cycle. You’re doing everything you need to do. Your baby is coming. You’re preparing your body and your baby is coming.
Get more support
I hope this was helpful. I struggled with pregnancy jealousy for a long time until I figured this out. Now I rarely experience it at all because I’ve used these tips so often. Now when I see a pregnant woman or see an announcement from a friend, I see it as evidence that human can have babies and it’s just a matter of time.
And if you want more support, what I do with nutritional therapy isn’t just about identifying nutrient deficiencies and balancing hormones and losing weight, it’s also about bringing health and support into all aspects of your life. Everything is interconnected and the way we talk to ourselves, the way we cope with stress and disappointment, it all impacts our health. A big part of what I do is giving you tools to see what’s happening in your mind and take back control. So often we let fear and doubt be in the divers seat but it’s only because we were never taught how to recognize when that’s happening and how to change it. It really is very simple once you have those tools.
So if you want to learn about working together you can schedule a free call with me. We’ll talk for about an hour and my main goal in that call is show you what’s been holding you back from getting the results you want in your health. Sometimes it’s on the science side, a hormone issue, a diet issue, other times its a mindset issue that holding you back in a way you just haven’t recognized yet. During our consult I’ll be able to see what that thing is and show you the path to resolving it.