The value of watching for changes on your fertility journey #-butpositive
The term health journey and fertility journey are so overused, they almost sound like a cliche. But there really is no better way to describe what it’s actually like. A journey is the perfect description. You’re starting in one place and going somewhere else and there’s just chaos in the middle.
The problem is, we live in a world of GPS where you can plug in your end location and it will map out the quickest, easiest route for you to get there. And that’s how we see a journey these days.You get out your Life GPS and plug in your ideal weight, the energy you want, easy periods, 3 kids, perfect pregnancies, and we want the exact road map for how to get there.
Except, none of us were born with a life GPS that could do this. So instead what we do is go online to forums and blogs and we try to use other people’s journey as a template for our own. So you hear people say, I ate pineapple core and got pregnant, I took maca root and got pregnant. And then you do the same thing expecting the same results they got and are frustrated when it doesn’t work.
This method rarely works. This is like if you and your best friend wanted to get together for brunch and she pulled up directions from her house to the restaurant, and then she took a screen shot of the map and texted it to you. It should work, it’s a map of how to get to the restaurant.
Except your starting point isn’t on that map. You live in a different part of town. So how can you possibly use that to get to the same location? But that’s what most of us are doing with our health and fertility journeys.
I did this in the beginning too. I went online and read other people’s journeys and I ate pineapple core and took maca root and then when their map didn’t get me to the destination, I blamed myself and blamed my body and wondered what’s wrong with me. I see a lot of women in that place. They feel like they’ve tried everything and nothing has worked so they must be the problem.
Really, they’re just using the wrong map. We need a map that has our starting place on it so that we can see clearly how to get from where we are to where we want to go.
In reality, this is your symptoms. Your symptoms and the way your body feels is your starting point. I’m talking about more than just the obvious symptoms. If you have PCOS and you’re paying attention to acne and facial hair, that’s great, but health is a full body thing. Your starting point includes your digestion, your blood sugar regulation, all of it. These are the little details that show us how different our starting points really are. Look at a two women with unexplained infertility and they’ll have completely different sets of symptoms, they have different starting points on their journey.
That sounds obvious but most of us are not looking at the big picture of our overall health.
When you are using your symptoms as a starting point, you can begin watching for changes. And these changes mark your journey toward your destination. They’re little sign posts on the map going from point A to point B.
There are always signs that will point you in the right direction. Having fewer cramps this month than last month. That’s a sign you’re going in the right direction. Having more cramps than last month, that’s a sign that you took a wrong turn. You need to go back.
Most people don’t look for changes at all or they’re looking too far ahead. They’re looking only at a pregnancy test as their sign post and when it’s negative month after month they’re getting more and more discouraged. All they see is that they’re not reaching their goal, their destination. They’re missing all the little sign posts that are trying to show them what’s working and what’s not and what they need to do next.
Watching for changes during the journey teaches you so much more about your own body and about yourself, about your life. The truth is no one knows how long their journey will be. Watching for changes during the ups and downs keeps you focused on the path ahead. You move forward one step at a time. This journey is full of hope, self love, curiosity, openness to adventure, willingness to try things and fail and learn from the failure. That’s a journey full of value. That’s a journey worth taking. And I believe that’s a journey that will yield better results.
My client Laura came up with a hashtag that perfectly describes this idea. #-butpositive. When you’re on a fertility journey there will be negative pregnancy tests, but there will also be positive signs that you’re headed in the right direction. Fewer cramps than last month, clearer skin, less moodiness, more energy, they’re all positive signs that you’re on the right path, that things are balancing and healing. And when you’re in the middle of a forest and you’re not sure how much farther you have to go, knowing you’re on the right path makes all the difference. It’s like having a gratitude journal, when you list out everything you grateful for you cant help but feel good about your life. When you list out everything that has changed in your health you can’t help but feel good about your body and trust your ability to heal.
For anyone who is in the middle of the forest feeling discouraged and or just confused, you can always reach out for help.
If you want to begin watching for changes but don’t even know what to watch for I can help you do an assessment to get a really good picture of your starting point so you know exactly what to watch for.
And if you’ve already started seeing changes but aren’t sure what they mean, if they’re just changes and you’re not sure if they’re good or bad, I can help you do an analysis on them as well and show you exactly what your body is trying to communicate. If you need help with any of that, schedule a consult with me to get started.